Category: Organ Donor

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Joven mamá dona sus órganos después de una larga enfermedad

“Siempre quería ayudar a la gente”

Brotherly Love: The Loss of One Sibling Offers Life and Hope to Another

Sean Wilbert suffered a sudden stroke on March 29, 2018 and passed away on April 3. He was 50 years old. Sean’s son, Jalen Wilbert, 25, authorized organ donation on behalf of his father to honor his giving spirit and because there was hope that a directed kidney donation could be made to his uncle Stephen Che’ Wilbert.

“We were all in pain that day,” Jalen said. “When someone at the hospital asked if we wanted to donate, we all agreed that my father would approve of it. The thought of my uncle receiving one of his brother’s kidneys gave the family and me additional hope and comfort.”

A Protective Brother

Che’ was diagnosed with type I diabetes when he was just 13, which caused severe health issues that he struggled with into adulthood. A protective older brother, Sean did all that he could to look out for Che’. “As kids, we heard diabetes was a killer disease,” Che’ said. “Sean was only one year older than me but he thought he had to take care of me, so he kept a very close eye on me.”

Unfortunately, the chances that Sean would be a compatible donor for his brother were not great because Che’ has a rare blood type. “Our case was special, and the chances of a match were slim to none,” Che’ said.

While the blood tests which would determine compatibility were being examined, Jalen, Che’ and the family awaited the results anxiously.

“While at the hospital after the stroke, I learned my father had told some of his friends that he was thinking of giving Che’ one of his kidneys about two months prior,” Jalen said. “Being a living donor for his brother was on his mind. The thought that it might not happen was killing me, but ultimately they were a match.”

Che’ woke up from the transplant surgery with mixed emotions. “I felt good and bad at the same time,” said Che’. “I wanted a kidney. I didn’t want it this way though, but I came to accept it. I probably would’ve died waiting for a transplant if it wasn’t for Sean.”

Through the gift of donation, Sean looked out for his younger brother even after his death.

Che’ reflected on recent world and local events and emphasized that, “with everything happening in the world now, good people continue to do good deeds. He saved my life, and as a Black man, my brother also offered hope to other people so that their lives could continue too.” As an organ donor, Sean also saved the lives of two other men, one in his 40’s and one in his 50’s.

A Caring Father and Role Model

Jalen and Che’ both describe Sean as a fitness enthusiast and sports lover. More importantly, to those who were fortunate enough to know him, Sean was a giving man who touched many lives through his generosity, motivational advice, and support.

My father was extremely caring,” Jalen said. “Everyone knew him as a helpful man and a lot of people saw him as a role model and father figure. He was definitely a huge presence in my life.”

A couple of weeks before Sean passed away, Jalen and his dad had what Jalen describes as their most profound conversation.

“I had just returned from school and was trying to figure out my next steps,” said Jalen. “I was surprised that my dad randomly called me. We talked about career and work stuff and then he wanted to talk about us. He apologized for being so tough on me growing up; he didn’t want me to hold on to that. I told him he did his best and that I wasn’t mad at him for it. I understood he gave me everything he didn’t get growing up. Two weeks later he was gone.”

Jalen thinks about how different things would be if he and his family had not agreed to donate but has no doubt, they made the right decision.

“It’s one of the greatest blessings you can offer someone and the journey after donation also feels good. My father had a big heart and I know that if I could talk to my him today, he’d say we made the right decision as a family.”

Two-Year-Old Organ Donor Xavier Bahena Saves Three Lives
“Knowing Other People are Alive Because He Helped Them Makes Losing Him More Bearable”

On the afternoon of July 22, 2016, Alberto Bahena answered a distraught phone call from his ex-wife, Cristina Martinez. Their two-year-old son, Xavier Bahena was struck by a car outside of his mother’s family’s restaurant. Alberto was working three blocks away and ran to the scene of the accident to find that first responders were transporting Xavier to John H. Stroger Hospital.

“An extremely independent little boy who loved to help,” is how Alberto describes his son. Keeping that helpful spirit alive is what Alberto had in mind when he asked about organ donation, after doctors explained that they had exhausted all efforts to save Xavier’s life.

“When I was 13 years old, I was away at a group home where I met and spoke to people who had received, or whose family members had received organ transplants,” said Alberto. “I was young at the time, but those conversations made sense to me. It’s about helping someone else who needs it.”

Alberto and Cristina discussed donation and the difference it could make for others and agreed that it was the right thing to do. By authorizing donation on behalf of Xavier, his parents made it possible for him to do what he loved — help others. Their decision changed the ending of Xavier’s story and saved the lives of a woman in her 50s, and two little boys who were only one and two years old at the time.

“It’s never going to be easy but knowing that other people are alive and healthy because he helped them, makes losing him more bearable.” Alberto said.

A Father’s Grief

It has taken Alberto approximately three years to finally be able to talk about losing Xavier. As it happens to many parents after the loss of a child, Alberto became depressed and shut everyone out.

“When we lost him, I suppressed everything, pushed it back somewhere and never spoke about it,” Alberto said. “I know now that I need to face it and figure it out. Instead of negatively dealing with the loss and trying to shut off all my emotions, I want to deal with it in a positive way.”

Although Alberto has not yet met the transplant recipients who received Xavier’s lifesaving gifts, he has started the correspondence process, but is taking his time with it. He wants to make sure that the time is right. In the meantime, Alberto is now able to talk about losing his son and share special and memorable details about Xavier, like the special handshake they had when Xavier did something right or to greet each other.

“We’d high five, fist bump and then throw up the peace sign but Xavier couldn’t do the peace sign, so he’d just point his little index finger at his eye,” said Alberto. “He also loved music and singing. His favorite song was ‘When I See You Again’ by Wiz Khalifa; we had no idea when he first heard it, but he was always humming it and singing along.”

It’s the random times when Alberto isn’t actively thinking about Xavier and thoughts of him enter his stream of consciousness that are the toughest for him. When this happens and his emotions begin to weigh on him, he thinks about the positive things that came out of the tragic loss and he has a message for other families who may one day be faced with the decision to donate on behalf of a loved one.

“If you’re faced with the decision to donate, know that you’re going to help somebody else. You’re going to have peace in your life because you also made the life and the loss of your loved one worth something. You’ll have some level of comfort knowing that they’re still here in a way and that someone else is alive because of them, because we can’t be selfish. Your family member is gone but you can help someone else keep theirs.”

Wife Battles Donation Myths to Honor Husband’s Decision to Donate
“Our loved one’s life ended, but it meant a new beginning for someone else and their family”

Tiffany Zuniga believes donation is “a beautiful gift, a good thing one can do to help others.” Because she believed that, she did everything she could to ensure that her husband, Alex Zuniga, who shared that belief, became an organ and tissue donor when he suffered a brain hemorrhage and passed away in 2017.

“Life fell apart for our kids and I when Alex died,” said Tiffany. “I lost my job, our house and we had to rebuild.” Alex and Tiffany had three children together, Alex, Alize, and Anastasia who were each impacted by their father’s passing in different ways. What Tiffany and her kids miss most about Alex are the everyday activities that bonded them as a family and his intangible qualities they loved so dearly.

“Alex had a big personality and beautiful smile,” said Tiffany. “He’d always light up a room. He was funny and loud. His presence was always felt, and suddenly he was gone.”

Myths & Misconceptions

Alex’s family traveled from California to Chicago as soon as Tiffany shared news that he was hospitalized. Tiffany was a bit nervous because she knew she needed to explain to the family that Alex was a registered donor and that she wanted to honor his decision. As it sometimes happens, some of the family members were against donation because they believed some of the myths and misconceptions on the topic. They were concerned that recovering Alex’s organs might be prioritized over saving his life, or that he would not be able to receive proper funeral services.

“I understood all of the concerns, but none of them were true,” said Tiffany, who learned about organ and tissue donation while working at Superior Ambulance as a dispatcher where Alex also worked in the Medicare division. He and Tiffany sometimes talked about their trainings, which included education on organ and tissue donation. “It’s a lot of information to take in,” she said. “And even after we learned about donation, we still were not really sure what would happen when the moment to donate actually came.”

Some of the family members expressed their fears, doubts and objections to Tiffany and the hospital staff at University of Chicago Medical Center. But Tiffany remained steadfast in her desire to honor Alex’s decision to become a donor and to possibly help save a life.

“It’s hard to process so much information in that devastating moment,” Tiffany said. “You’re hurting and the pain is so intense. But if you can look from the outside in and think about someone else benefiting from the donation, you should give it a chance. I’m grateful the hospital staff was so patient and supportive amid all the fear, sadness and uncertainty.”

A Piece of the Puzzle

Alex’s family ultimately also agreed that donation was best, not only because it was what Alex wanted, but because it was the right thing to do. As an organ donor, Alex saved the life of a man in his 50s who received his liver.

Many grieving families struggle with fears about donation because they unfortunately hear misinformation about what donation is, but Tiffany knew that it was what Alex really wanted. “It was difficult because I understood everyone’s doubts and questions. But I know Alex is proud of how things worked out,” said Tiffany. “

Over the last three years, Tiffany regained some of what she lost. She found a new job and a new home for her family. She feels her kids are all the strength and motivation she needs to be the best mother possible and to continue fighting for a better life for them.

“We went through a really tough time,” said Tiffany. “But it is important to know that even though our loved one’s life ended, it meant a new beginning for someone else and their family. You know, Alex would always call me his puzzle piece; he would say ‘we fit well like a puzzle.’ Maybe donation was also a precious piece of our puzzle.”